Valentine’s Day is just around the corner and there’s no better way to celebrate the season of love than by learning how to live with your messy(er than you) partner without going crazy.

Mess is a part of life and while it can be bothersome at times, it doesn’t have to be a deal breaker in a relationship.

Here are some tips to make living with your messy partner a little easier.

Understand that everyone has different standards and that it’s okay if your partner’s standards don’t perfectly match yours.

Communication is key in any relationship, and it is especially important when you and your partner have different ideas of what it means to be organized.

Start by communicating in a non-judgmental way about the mess.

When your partner is receptive to this conversation, focus on what’s important to you both and why each of you finds it difficult to maintain the tidiness preferred.

Be patient, understanding and take time to listen.  

It is also important to acknowledge that your partner may not be as tidy as you are, but that it doesn’t mean they don’t care about the home or the relationship.

Not everyone needs a great deal of tidiness in their home, and if it’s important to you, take care of your needs regardless of your partner’s preferences. Approach tidying as a choice and an act of self-care – not something you do with resentment. 

Once you’ve established what each of you needs from the other, take the time to create a space that works for both of you.

Make it easy for your partner to keep the space clean by creating zones. Designate certain areas for yourself and others for your partner, making it easier for them to keep their belongings organized.

This could even help create a sense of ownership and pride in their space, leading to a tidier environment overall.

Most importantly, once you’ve established a clear system, don’t change it too often.

Change is hard and while you may think a new system could work better, over-organizing can become overwhelming to keep up with.

Instead, keep it simple and consistent, and give in once in a while.

Junk drawers are a great example of a compromise you can live with. Designate a drawer for things that don’t have a place and leave it up to your partner to organize it however they choose.

It’s also important to set yourself up with realistic expectations. Mess is going to happen and that’s okay, so don’t stress too much over it.

Give your partner a chance to declutter on their own, and never take on the job of decluttering for them.

Decluttering is a deeply personal process and while it may be tempting to do it yourself, it’s important to give your partner the time and space to do this in order to foster an environment of trust and respect.

Be there for them and offer your support should they need it, but ultimately it is up to them to decide how to deal with their belongings.

Finally, have a mutual agreement on who takes charge of the home organization and don’t take it personally if it doesn’t always work out.

Remember that even if it looks different than how you would do it, every attempt to make a home more comfortable is an effort to be appreciated. 

If possible, consider hiring a third-party to help with the home organization and to help you and your partner build a system that works for everyone.

The good news? No matter how little your influence may seem, and whether or not they’ll ever admit it, your partner will come to appreciate the clean and organized environment you created together.

Living with a messy partner doesn’t have to be a nightmare, and with a bit of patience and understanding, you can find a way to make your home the clean heaven you dream of and create a stronger bond with your partner in the process.

So, this Valentine’s Day, take the time to appreciate and embrace the messiness of love.

Blessing your partner’s mess is a beautiful thing after all! 

Read More: How To Organize Your Husband’s Closet

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